A tiny green secret
by Fanatic97
Summary: While searching the remains of the Nemesis, the Autobots discover a formally hidden room. Despite it being empty, it's occupant may have a thing to say about the Autobots being in the ship.


**Random plot bunny alert.**

 **This one comes from a pretty random idea I had. But I hope that you all enjoy it as much as I do.**

 **Transformers is owned by Hasbro/Takara, I only own the tiny plastic versions they sell.**

 **If you have any questions, comments, concerns or wish to know more, leave me a review or PM!**

* * *

The war was over.

It filled the Smokescreens spark with pride to hear not only those words, but to know he'd helped end the war.

To think that he, the screw up, the rookie, would save the life of, and almost become a prime? He hardly believed it himself, but he'd done it.

There would be much to do for the post war Cybertron. Smokescreen was hoping that maybe Magnus would let him have a position in a new Elite Guard. Or maybe even lead it!

But for now, he'd been given another job. One that Ultra Magnus and Optimus both found important.

"Ship sweeping duty is the worst "bemoaned Smokescreen.

Bumblebee smirked at Arcee who just rolled her eyes. Their task had been simple, go through the Decepticon warship and find anything dangerous that might have been left behind.

"For the last time Smokescreen, it may be boring but it has to be done." Arcee said. "We don't want to miss any weapons that might have been left behind.

"But we already took apart Shockwaves lab." Smokescreen said as they rounded another corner.

"What more could there be?"

"You'd be surprised at what we've left behind Smokescreen." responded Bumblebeee.

Smokescreen stopped walking and stared at Bumblebee in surprise. Bee and Arcee kept walking, Both of them trying not to laugh.

"Wait, what did you guys ditch?" Smokescreen ran up to them.

"Was it something dangerous, did it create a black hole or-?"

"If we could do that would we even tell you where it is?" asked Arcee.

For a moment, Smokescreen tired to come up with an answer. His voicebox failed him and with a reserved sigh, fell back in line with Cee and Bee.

Arcee and Bee hoped that this meant they could finish their task in peace. Their walk through of the Nemesis was a long one. Most of what they'd found were old reports, half finished projects, some vehicons who didn't get the right call.

They hadn't found much in the way of personal effects. All they found in Soundwaves room was just a bunch of monitors.

As they got closer to the rear of the ship, Bumblebee noticed something odd.

From one of the doors came a faint glow, or rather multiple glows. Each of the shadows cast was of a different color.

"Do you see that?" asked Bumblebee.

Arcee and Smokescreen both looked at where Bee was pointing. Arcee was rather confused but Smokescreen looked rather excited.

"That reminds me of one of those "rave parties" that Miko talked about!

He found his reponse to be a confused look from Bee, while Arcee rolled her eyes. She hadn't been too thrilled when Miko had thrown one back at the old base.

"Is that the type of thing where humans jump around while glowing?" Asked Bumblebee.

"Yes, only it's also got a flashing light that almost blinds you're optics." Arcee grumbled. "But I don't think the cons would be too interested in throwing one."

The three of them ran over and flanked the door. Arcee and Smokescreen stood on the left. Arcee reached over and tripped the doors sensors.

With a metallic "woosh" sound they slid open. She and Bumblebee peeked in and stared into the room.

The place was rather shabby in appearance, it had some tables but they were all full of junk. Old wires and gears littered the room. Some energon cubes sat stacked in one former.

"It looks like we found one of the trash rooms." said Arcee.

"I thought the cons dumped all their trash." Smokescreen leaned in, almost knocking her over. Arcee spun around and shoved him back.

"Hey what did I do?" He asked. Arcee gave no response and she and Bee walked into the room. "If it weren't for the Energon cubes I'd say this place was abandoned.

"That doesn't explain the glow that we saw." Bee said. He looked around the room and his eyes fell on a large stack of parts.

The glow that they'd seen from behind the door was emitting from there.

"I think I found where our rave parties coming from." He stated.

He Walked over and grabbed the massive scrap pile. He began to try and move it. Much to his surprise, the pile seemed to be rather solid.

With a great effort, he pushed it , Arcee and Smokescreen looked and their optics almost bugged out.

"Woah, is that what I think it is?"." Gasped SMokescreen.

"An Engex distillery, I thought there weren't any left." said an swed Arcee.

"Of all the things the cons didn't destroy, this one engex distillery is all that's left?" Bee questioned.

"Better than having to drink the stuff Wheeljack makes." He muttered.

Unbeknownst to the three, a panel overhead had moved. A lone optic shone down on the back of Smokescreens head.

"So do we report this in or just leave it?" Asked Smokescreen. "Because I am all for keeping it a secert."

"We don't keep secrets from Optimus." Arcee said firmly.

She went to her com and tired to get a signal. All she got was static on the other side.

"I can't get a com up in here." She looked up in surprise.

"So what, you think that this place might have been Soundwaves?" Asked Smokescreen.

The optic in the ceiling narrowed at the statement. It peered back and forth among the group, as if deciding which bot to take out first.

"Okay so, how about you and Bee go outside and report in, while I stand guard here." Smokescreen offered.

Arcee and Bumblebee stared at Smokescreen with blank looks. Their looks soon crossed into being looks of annoyance.

"That's not going to work is it?" Said a dejected Smokescreen.

"No." Both Bee and Cee chorused. Arcee turned around and began to walk toward the door.

"I'm going to go report this in, and I don't want to see a drop of Engex gone!" She snapped.

Smokescreen looked away shyly while Bumblebee just smirked.

"You can count on us Arcee….well me to keep Smokescreen out." Chuckleed Bee.

As Smokescreen let out a dejected moan, Arcee left the room rolling her optics. After she left, Smokescreen let out a groan and leaned up against the Engex.

"The best find on the ship and I'm not allowed to have any."

"Do you really want to drink Decepticon Engex?" Asked Bumblebee.

"Why not, it's the end of the war , let the Engex and Energon flow." Smokescreen threw his hands up in an exaggerated manner.

It was at that moment, something green fell from the ceiling. It came down in front of Smokescreen and kicked him in the face.

Smokescreen yelped as the bot flipped off him and landed in front of them. As Smokescreen rubbed his faceplate, Bumblebee stared in shock.

Standing before them was a lot no taller than Arcee. He was colored Green, grey and gold. He had a stock build with large arms. One optic shone from his head, the other one was broken.

"So ya want energon ta flow?" Asked the bot. He hands folded inward and a pair of four barreled cannons emerged.

"Let's start by spillian both ya's internals across the room!"

He ran forward, guns blazing As Smokescreen and Bumblebee dove for cover. Smokescreen hid behind the mound of scrap. Bee ducked behind the Engex distillery.

" Engex and a secret Decepticon?, this is just perfect." Muttered Bumblebee.

"Ya think that bursting into my quarters is perfect lad?" The bot scoffed. "Let me teach ya what an imperfection is then!"

The small bot jumped into the air, somersaulting over Bumblebee. He landed behind Bumblebee, delivering a kick to the back of his head.  
Bumblebee fell backward as the con whipped around and looked at Smokescreen. His optic fell onto his Elite Guard insignia.

"Oh just what I needed, a Guard brat." He sneered.  
"What!?" Asked Smokescreen.

"Guard brat, a rookie guardsmen." The con spat. "Ya think that yer all high and mighty."

Smokescreen watched as a pair of large blades shot out of the bots forearms. The con grinned evilly and then leapt at Smokescreen.

Smokescreen yelled and jumped aside. The con slammed down before turning and slashing at Smokescreens leg.

The blade left a gash on Smokescreens knee, causing him to stumble forward. He turned around as the con made another pass.

The con slashed across Smokescreens chest , leaving several deep scars.

"Scrap, I just got the last scratches buffed out." He scowled at the Decepticon, who sneered at him in return.

"Typical Autobots, more concerned about appearances than fighting the war."

"The war's over!" Smokescreen snapped.

The con laughed sharply as Smokescreen tried to catch him. Smokescreen opened fire on the bot, striking him several times.

The cons snarled and then launched himself at Smokescreen. Only for Bumblebee to kick him out of the air.

"Smokescreens right decepticon, Megatron's dead."

The con slid along the floor, glaring at the two. His hands once more shifted into guns.

"I'll believe that when I see it." He declared.

He once again charged forward, only to be meet by Smokescreen's fist smashing into him. The unfortunate con was sent flying.

He crashed into the wall as Smokescreen punched him again. The con let out a groan and slid to the ground.

Smokescreen brushed off his hands, before he looked back at the stunned Bumblebee.

"Where the frag did that come from?"

"I may be a bit tired of fighting right now." He chuckled weakly. Bee smiled and walked over, placing a hand onto Smokescreen's shoulder.

"I think we can all agree with that one." The two of them smiled at each other as Arcee walked in.

She took stock of the scene in front of her. A battered Decepticon lay on the wall. The room was covered in several blast marks and scratches.

The scrap metal was now strewn about and Smokescreen was injured. Bee and Smokescreen stared back at her.

Arcee sighed, placing her fingers up near her eyes.

"I can't leave the two of you alone can I?"

* * *

Ultra Magnus put away his data pad and then looked at Optimus.

"There are no records of this Decepticon, at least none that I have access too."

After being knocked out, the tiny Decepticon had been taken to the bridge. The Autobots had all assembled there  
as well.

"Maybe he was the mascot." suggested Wheeljack. Ultra Magnus rolled his optics and then looked at Smokescreen.

"Perhaps if the Decepticon had been brought in online we could get answers sooner."

"Hey, it was the only way to beat him!" He looked toward Bumblebee and Arcee to back him up. The two of them stared at him  
with blank looks.

As Smokescreen turned back toward Ultra Magnus, a moan came from the Decepticon. He snapped awake and looked around a couple of times.

His lone optic scanned the entire group, until it fell on Optimus.

"Well, someone's been taking their morning Energon." He chuckled weakly.

"Don't get snippy Decepticon." Ultra Magnus stepped into the cons line of sight. "We want answers from you."

The con stared back at Ultra Magnus and scowled. He looked back around him. No sign of any was the Nemesis, so either Megatron was forced to abandon it, or he was dead.

"First big shot, I want an answer from you."

"You do not get a question." Ultra Magnus said. Optimus placed a hand onto Magnus's arm.

"He has the right to ask what he may please, but then you must provide us with answers." Optimus looked at the Decepticon.

The con snorted a little and laughed. The other Autobots faces became scowls, while Optimus remained calm.

"I want to know this Optimus Prime, is it true that Lord Megatron's gone?"

"It is true that Megatron is gone, he perished on this very ship, though his body fell to Earth." Optimus solemnly explained.

The con stared at him for a moment, and then sighed weakly.

"The names Dirt Boss, ships engineer and maintenance bot." He said lowly.

The Autobots were all stunned several of them taken aback. Smokescreen however was slightly offended.

"You'll take Optimus's word over mine?" He scoffed.

"Kid, I knew a lot of bots in my time, but I know that a Prime doesn't lie." Dirt Boss stated calmly.

"Wait a minute, I thought the Vehicons were the ones who ran repairs." asked Bulkhead.

"Yer kiddin me right?" Dirt Boss laughed.

"The mooks can't even hit a target two feet away from their optics!" Dirt Boss began laughing.

Wheeljack chuckled a little bit, which earned him a look from Arcee.

"It's true!" He said.

"But if you are a part of the crew, how come we've never seen you before?" asked Ultra Magnus.

"A ship this large, with all its wires and power grid, a bot can get lost in here." Explained Dirt Boss.

He went on to explain just how he'd ended up serving on the Nemesis. He'd been running a small engex bar near Kaon, when things heated up he decided to leave.

"Only problem was, I didn't exactly have a ship." Dirt Boss chuckled. "Of course the Decepticons kept crashing theirs day in and day out."

Dirt Boss had found a stealth jet, which he'd begun to fix up. He'd moved all of his stuff into the ship and set out to make life a new.

Once he was ready for takeoff its owner caught up with him. The ship had been a Decepticon prototype...with Soundwave as its pilot.

"All of my stuff and me got dragged before ol buckethead himself." Dirt Boss looked down.

"Well I thought, this is, end of da road for me...but Megatron was impressed with me."

"Did you give him a sample of your Engex?" laughed Wheeljack.

"No that came after." Replied Dirt Boss.  
Wheeljack paused mid laugh and blinked silently.

"So Megatron offers me a deal, I work on his ship, and I get to keep making Engex...and ya know live."

"Knowing Megatron, I assume that there was a catch." Optimus got a nod of confirmation from Dirt Boss.

"Yep, I could only make the Engex for him and his trusted lieutenants." Dirt Boss answered.

"It was death, or servitude, and I figured I could ditch ol buckethead eventually."

"Let me guess, Soundwave prevented that from happening." questioned Arcee. Dirt Boss cackled once again.

"Well, I think I can easily drum up a list of charges." Ultra Magnus stated. Dirt Bosses optic nearly bugged out of his head.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" He asked.

"You've aided the enemy, operated an illegal engex operation, and attacked two Autobots during peacetime." StatedMagnus.

Dirt Boss stumbled to his feet, and he activated his blades. The other Autobots armed their weapons as well. Looking Around, Dirt Boss knew he was out numbered.

"I held no loyalty to Big Megs buddy." He spat. "I hated the slagger and everything he stood for."

"You helped run the Decepticon warship, which took part in several campaigns against both Earth and Cybertron!" Magnus shot back.

"It was either die or serve what would you do?"

"Not to mention that you attacked two Autobots." Magnus gestured over to Smokescreens wounds.

"I've spent days cleaning up after yer raids, so forgive me if I didn't feel like spending all day and all night fixing the ship again!" "

Optimus stepped in between Ultra Magnus and Dirt Boss. This did little to ease the rest of Team Prime as he turned to face Ultra Magnus.

"Ultra Magnus, if you are going to condemn this bot for acting under duress, then I suggest condemning me as well."

Ultra Magnus stared at Optimus with widened optics.

"Sir...I do not understand." He stated.

"When Unicron was threatening Earth, my team and I were allied with Megatron." Optimus said.

"Sir, that was under extraneous circumstances." Reminded Ultra Magnus.

"Were the circumstances Dirt Boss faced extraneous as well?" Optimus's question stung into the sparks of the other Autobots. Well except for Wheeljack.

Arcee, Bumblebee, Smokescreen and Bulkhead all deactivated their weaponry. Wheeljack looked confused, but remained silent. Ultra Magnus pondered this for a moment,before he stepped back.

"You've made a good point sir, he is free to go." He said.

Optimus turned around to look at Dirt Boss. The smaller Decepticon stared back at Optimus with a look of awe.

"Now I know why some of the other Cons Respected ya." He smiled.

"Cybertron is going to need a lot of restoration, so we need all the help we can get." Optimus stated.

"If it's got wires, circuit boards, and just plain ol circuits I'm your bot." Dirt Boss said happily. Optimus chuckled and looked toward Bulkhead.

"I believe that you mentioned needing hands like that." He offered.

Dirt Boss walked over to Bulkhead, before tapping his hand on his chest plates.

"Yeah, I know construction but I don't know a thing about electrical…" Bulkhead said, looking down at Dirt Boss.

"In that case, glad to be part of the crew, but I have one question for ya'll" Dirt Boss looked over to Ultra Magnus and Optimus hopefully.

"Can I keep my Engex?"

* * *

 **I had the idea of a grumpy scottish Dirt Boss in my head for a while now. I decided to implement it here, in a parody of the ol "Secret baby found in random place" stories.**

 **As always if you liked this story please leave a review, and let me know if you want to see more of ol Dirt Boss in the future!**


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